The Bugs Within - Prince of Dotishness

Shahdee will kick your ass...


Shahdee's "close up"...

This contains spoilers, so if you want to play the game without them, stop. Now.

I didn't know that virtual life in the MidEast was so westernised. Imagine a goth chick in a metallic thong, slashing your face and all you can say is: "You BITCH"? If it really were me in there she would have been slapped aaaaall the way back to the Time Portal you can't finish the game from. In a headlock.

In case you're wondering, I'm talking about Prince of Persia, The Warrior Within for Xbox, although it should be named as above. Don't buy it, rent it if you must, at least not the Xbox version anyway. We had to replay 99% of the game because of a glitch. We're not happy.

The Warrior Within (WW) tries to fix what was fixed at the end of Sands of Time, meaning that you shouldn't really need to fix it. Apparently the Dahaka is pissed at the Prince for screwing up the timeline, reversing the debacle at the end of Sands of Time (SOT) which was a much better game. What's funny, is that the Dahaka is allergic to water but has followed you to this island. Eh? An' dat make plenty sense.

One of the reasons why I liked SOT was the storyline. You invested in the Prince 'cause you wanted to find out what will happen to him, or Farah next. In WW, I asked myself on many occasions, was it worth the dotishness? The platforming is still there but columns stand out where there really shouldn't be any, providing places for you to swing around and slash necks off of already dead people, all to the tune of Godsmack. You go through the same rooms twice, in both the present and the past, the only difference is the colour palette.

There are some female antagonists in the game that wrap their legs around your neck and say things like, "there's sooooo much pleasssure in pain", or "hit me.....harder....HARDER...!" If that's your thang well... so be it.

Another strange thing is that the Prince in WW gathers sand through a medallion on his chest, presumably given to him by Farah in SOT. I didn't see that at the end of SOT. The Empress of Time sends you on a wild duck hunt that doesn't fit into the storyline. After you saved her from an ass-whuppin'.

The game is linear, although it tries not to be. You can't really get lost and the puzzles aren't all that difficult. You also try to help yourself in two time periods in the game and wonder why you were so frigging dense the first time.

Last but definitely not least, are the numerous glitches in the game. We reached the end and had to start over from scratch because we got stuck. There's at least 14 hours of gameplay.

Jordan Mechner, author of the original 1989 Prince of Persia wasn't involved in the making of WW , although he was instrumental in the development of SOT. That should have been a sign. Go figure.

I'll add that the graphics are really really good, and the combat is improved, or rather there's more of it with some new moves. I'm still going to sell the game, see if I can trade it for Ninja Gaiden. Next Stop: Kingdom Hearts.